Saving Stan
by CartmansLover
Summary: Stan has a mental problem left up to the imagination and Kenny has tried since high school to help him. What happens when the pressure gets to be too much? WARNING: Self Harm/Death


_**AN:** _I hope that this story doesn't seemed as rushed to everyone as it does to me. I want you all to know that I wrote this stoy and came up with the idea for it. I don't own South Park or the two poems at the top. I want to warn you that there is a theme of self harm in this story and that there is death and insanity. Please read and enjoy the story.

* * *

_"…Turning to no one, alone once again  
All he needed was a lover, more than a friend_…"

_Copyrighted: 2005 Jiri_

_"…Or will you succumb  
to the defeats in life,  
failing to never overcome?  
Dreams will never die.  
Strength is deep inside.  
Friendships are forever.  
Remember my faith in you…"_

_Copyrighted: 1996 Wayne Lee_

* * *

Neither boys life turned out how it was planned. One was destined for greatness and the other for a life just like his parents. There was nothing that would keep them together. Nothing to make them stray from their destinies… till now.

Kenny McCormick. He was an average child in a small mountain town. His blonde hair was always long and in his face. His blue eyes were clouded as if he was thinking of something. His clothes were worn and used. The life he led had always been planned out for him. Yet he managed to pull away from what was expected. Only because his friend was in trouble.

Stan Marsh. He had always been the popular one. He played as many sports as one school year would allow. His black hair had grown slightly in his high school year but never past his ears. His eyes were a deep blue like the depths of the ocean. All his clothes were up to date styles and brand-new. Everyone expected him to become some huge sports star, marry Wendy, and escape the small town. He never did any of those things, because in his senior year his life went down the drain.

Stan never told anyone about the visit to the doctor's office he had a week before school. Everyone always thought it was because of his headaches. He found out so much more that day. His doctor told him that he had a mental condition that would only get worse till he hit an all time low. Stan had to quit all his sports with no explanation. His grades dropped from his lack of focus. Wendy dumped him because of his random outbursts.

From that moment on he couldn't think of anything else but dying. His life would be full of doctors and mental institutions. Stan couldn't find the point in a life that would only end in death anyway. He had nothing to enjoy. It was Kyle who pushed him over the edge.

"Stan what are you doing?" Kyle had yelled two months into senior year.

Stan continued to rearrange all of Kyle's things. He mumbled to himself and just kept running in circles around the room. Kyle was trying to get him to settle down but he couldn't understand what was wrong. Kyle told Stan to stop, then he shouted to stop, then demanded that Stan stop. Stan just couldn't stop; he continued to run around the room messing up all of Kyle's organization around the place.

"Stan I mean it. Why are you doing this? You've never acted like such a freak before. I asked you at least a hundred times to just sit the hell down. No you have to keep running around my room and knocking all my shit over. You know how pissed my mom will be that you're making a racket. God just go home Stan I'll see you tomorrow."

Stan had listened to Kyle's screams. After that he took his own sweet time walking down the streets of South Park. He knew what was wrong with him. Stan was aware of all the horrible things he was starting to do. That was what made it so hard for him. He knew he was going crazy. Stan knew that the images he was seeing weren't real but he still got frightened he still couldn't help himself.

Five months into senior year Stan had pushed everyone in his life away from him. The reasoning he had was that if they didn't talk anymore it wouldn't be as painful for them to watch him go crazy. He had finally told his parents about how quickly his mind was going. They had worried that it wouldn't be safe for him to attend school anymore, but he insisted on living life normally. Stan didn't want the school district to know anything.

On day at the end of January Stan was sitting by himself on a snow-covered rock when the visions started happening again. He tried closing his eyes to the images but nothing helped so he ran. All Stan wanted was to get as far away from where the creatures were.

As he ran his eyes had to close almost all the way. Stan was running towards the wind on a winter day. He couldn't see anything except the images in his mind. Before he knew it he was on the ground.

"Stan are you okay?" It was Kenny.

Stan just tried to stand up but he needed Kenny's help to get off the slick ground. Stan tried to run but Kenny's hands had a firm grip on his biceps. He wasn't going to be going anywhere.

"You have to let me go. They'll get me if you don't. I have to get away from them." Stan was crying hysterically.

Kenny wanted to question him further. He was a drifter in school and noticed a lot about a lot of people. Kenny had been in baseball and hockey and anything else that kept him away from home. He had seen Stan and he used to be great friends with him. Even though they had gone their separate ways he knew that there was something wrong with Stan.

"What's going to get you Stan?" he interrogated.

"The creatures from Kyle's house. They've been following me since the last time I was there. They want to get me Kenny. You have to help me."

Kenny had heard from Kyle that Stan hadn't been around his super best friend's house for months before. Kenny also could tell that Stan was acting like a small child almost like a two year old. Then it was hard to notice that Stan had his face buried in Kenny's coat. All Kenny could think of was to pat his head and help him home.

That was how it all started for the two of them. Stan was in need of a friend and Kenny was in the right place at the right time. Kenny had taken Stan home that day and ended up staying all night. Their once weak friendship turned into something very strong. They became great friends, despite it all.

Kenny grew accustom to sleeping over at Stan's house most nights. He got used to force feeding Stan when he was in a bad mood. He even got used to having to bathe him if he couldn't do it himself. When Stan was in a good mind he was always a large help, trying to make up for all the trouble he puts Kenny through. Kenny had become his only helper, not even his parents did much anymore.

"Kenny." Stan questioned on one of his good days. "I have been wondering for a few months now… Well you are always helping me. How am I going to get on when you leave?"

It was a serious question. Most people would need time to think through the proper answer. Kenny didn't need any time though. He knew his answer only seconds after the question was asked.

"I'm just not going to leave you. That way we won't have to see how you hold up on your own."

After graduation many people stopped by to say hello to the two boys who were basically in hiding from the world. Neither of them had stepped a foot out the front door since the graduation ceremony. They hired people to do everything for them. Kenny dipped into his little bit of savings while Stan offered up all his college money. Kenny had tried to refuse but Stan wouldn't let him.

"What would I do at college Kenny? I would become a wreak." Stan had said one day.

Kenny knew it was true. Stan was nothing without him. And that pressure was horrible. Kenny never went out, he had stopped dating all together. His one link to women was porn on the internet. Stan at one point had asked Kenny to be with him romantically. Kenny had laughed just a little.

"Stan it's one of your bad days just go to sleep. You know I love you but not like that." Kenny said again.

Stan was always asking Kenny to date him. Stan had nothing except for Kenny. It was understandable in Kenny's eyes for Stan to want him. At least once a month Kenny would turn Stan down and deal with a few extra bad days.

As year passed they both grew used to their pattern. Stan relied on Kenny to do everything. Kenny knew he needed to do everything. There were very few good days left.

"Kenny, kill me. Please just let me die. Send me to heaven where all this will be over. I don't want to be in pain anymore Kenny. Please send me to heaven." Stan cried out in the middle of the night years after high school.

Kenny was having a break down a day at least. Stan continued to have suicidal thoughts. Kenny didn't know how to deal with his best friend wanting to die every day. There was nothing he could think of to help Stan. As time went on both boys became even more depressed. It got so bad that Kenny wasn't even a help to Stan anymore.

"Damn it Kenny. I know that you are trying to help and all. Can you please just accept that Stan needs to be taken away? You need to get help. How can you help him get passed his suicidal thoughts when you are cutting? Just answer me that. Stan needs medical help. You have done the best you could possibly do." Kyle pleaded one day when he saw Kenny in town.

"Kyle he is my only friend. I am helping him out because everyone turned their backs on him just like they turned their backs on me for helping him. I need to be with him till I manage to die. Then you can send him somewhere that you think will be more of a help to him. Right now I am doing all I can for him and we are fine. I have to get back home before he wakes up and finds me missing. Goodbye Kyle."

That was the last time Kenny ever saw Kyle. It was the last time he saw anyone in town. That night Kenny said his goodbyes to everyone. He knew that Stan wouldn't let him go. Stan didn't think he needed any more help than Kenny. It was so wrong and Kenny knew it. Kenny couldn't help Stan if he wanted to die.

So that night Kenny took a kitchen knife to his throat. One gash and Kenny didn't feel anything anymore. Stan woke right after Kenny slashed himself. The creatures of his imagination were after him again. So he went running in search of his friend. Instead he found a pool of blood seeping out of one of the rooms.

Stan followed the blood till he came to the door. When he opened it he saw Kenny on the floor. There was a note beside him. Stan paid no attention to the note though. He just ran and hugged his friend's body tightly.

"Kenny wake up. Wake up Kenny." Stan was his childish self and he couldn't process what was going on.

When Kyle got to Kenny's house with the police he found Stan crying in a corner of the house. He was clutching the letter and sobbing. Kyle bent down to eye level. His old best friend was dead inside.

"Stan what does the letter say?"

"I don't know. I can't read it. The creatures don't want me to read anything anymore."

Kyle picked Stan's small body up and grabbed the letter from his hands. He took him down to where the police were and handed him over. Kyle knew Kenny would want Stan to get help. The old Stan would have wanted help too. Kyle almost wanted to cry as he saw the car drive off with his best friend in the back. He really did start to cry when the ambulance drove off towards the hospital with his dead friend.

_Kyle,_

_I know that Stan won't be able to read this so please read it to him. Stan, I know that you wanted me to be with you forever. All you ever did was ask me to be with you, to date you, to help you. I wish I could have done a better job for you. There is nothing I would like more than to say that me keeping you with me helped you in the littlest bit. Yet I can't lie to you not now._

_I hope you understand that I didn't kill myself because of you. I just knew you would never let me go. I needed to find some way to help you. I wasn't doing you any good keeping you locked up and pretending as if your stories were all real. I should have sent you to the doctors' a long time ago. Then maybe you could've been saved. Maybe there would've been some hope for you._

_I'd like to say that this was a necessary step to save you. Once again that would be a lie. I could have just sent you away myself or had Kyle come over one day and take you. I couldn't do that though. I know how much I mean to you. I know that you never wanted to be away from me. You were like a little lost child all the time. Somewhere along the line I lost track of what I needed to do to save you._

_Maybe all I had to do was save myself. For years you've spoken of killing yourself or of having me kill you. I couldn't do that to you but it gave me ideas. Everyday you asked me to kill you it was one more idea added onto my list of how to make the pain go away. Sometime two years ago I started hurting myself thinking that I would stil be able to save you._

_I was so wrong though Stan. Please know that this end to my life isn't an end to yours. Let the doctors' help you. I want you to get saved Stan. So that one day you can come visit me in my grave and tell me just how you saved yourself. Live for the both of us Stan. I know that that seems really cheesy but your childish mind will understand it perfectly. This is the only way I can think of to get you to want to live again. I'm giving you a mission Stan, to live for the two of us. I don't have a life anymore so you have to make one for me. I will always love you even if it wasn't how you wanted at times, Kenny. _

_Kyle: please read this to him before he is taken away. I know him well by now. We spent years together and I'm telling you he won't let the doctors' save him unless he hears this. I want him to live Kyle really. So it's up to you now. I'll be seeing you,_

_Kenny_

Kyle looked after the car taking his friend away then back to the ambulance in the distance. It was too late to read the letter to Stan. He would just have to hope that everything would turn out all right. Kyle knew Stan would be all right because Kenny would still be taking care of him. Kenny would never completely abandon Stan. They were too close. Even Kyle knew that Kenny would care for him through death.

Not even Kenny could save Stan from what would happen to him though. Years went by and suddenly Stan was an old man. He was alone and afraid with on one left. His only friend and love dead for years. Stan lived in a home the rest of his life. He died in his sleep on January 25th. It had been 75 years since that day he ran into Kenny. It had been 58 years since the night that Kenny killed himself. Stan was buried right next to Kenny in the South Park cemetery. Kyle was the only person left to attend the funeral. He looked from one grave to another and still cried thinking of how it could have been different.


End file.
